The Envy and Jealous.

Christmas wasn't great this year.

to be truthful, it really sucks to the max of all.

it's like, there's no celebration for me, no present.

well, all thanks to work i suppose.

i missed out all the great fun.

PS : i stood at my counter like a retarded idiot on the eve and actual day.

there's no turkey, ham, sumptuous feast or anything.

not even a slice of log cake.

tell me, how good can this Christmas be for me?

work is getting a bore nowadays.

people say, working in a club is so cool and happening.

can i reject this thought of yours?

it's really one of the not so happening and boring job.

or maybe it's my department, cashier.

today is awfully bad.

not that i stood there like an retard idiot again,

but today was a total mess.

crowds flow in like tsunami.

non stop bills flow with piling bills that doesn't seem to stop growing.

noises, shouting and irritating customer orders.

giving terrible headaches and annoyed responds.

sorry that i've created a mess out of those bills.

i don't know why am i that blur, but i really didn't mean it.

perhaps, i shouldn't be placed there in the first place.

damn.

Without a word, Silence.

i constantly have to remind myself to runaway and hide.

neither do i want to be in this state, nor all the pretendency.

it's not something easy to get it over with or with a simple phrase of "fuck and die"

i do not exactly understand myself fully.

what's exactly am i thinking about all these while?

come and go, it's just a game.

no doubt.

i don't have to suffer, but why am i?

Everything with a taste.

have you ever wonder,

"what the hell am i doing all these for?"

i guess it's a common questions that we asked ourselves.

mostly when we did something we regret.

but, this question brings on reflection.

somehow, i love this question.

A Toy, I'm Not.

don't tell me you did not send those messages.

don't blame it on anybody else.

i don't know what you're up to, but i'm not a toy.

not a toy that when you wanna play, you play.

if not, you just chuck it aside and kick it with all force.

i'm really tired of all these.

moreover, you're nothing to me.

perhaps, just a friend.

what you left with me is nightmare of the only night.

i tried to forget and still treated you as my friend.

guess i'm too silly, cause i'm just a dirt.

i hate it.

please be gone and not haunt me like that.

i don't need you, or anyone like you.

A Relieve of Heart.

it's so nice to have someone really there to listen.

someone who really understand.

she knows everything.

though, we don't really meet that often.

maybe once or twice a month.

but she knows everything, and not forgetting much about it.

i know i can always tell her everything, she don't judge me.

thanks for being there.

i start to daze off every now and then.

drifting into the thoughts of losing.

it's an unknowingly thing.

i can feel my heart aching every now and then.

reasons unclear, yet it seems like my mind knows it all without my acknowledging it.

it seems like i'm separated in within.

moodless and numb,

there's nothing much more to say.

i'm tired.

Ugly Confession.

yes, i've got a confession to made.

i guess i shouldn't hide or keep it anymore.

it's already semi expose, i'll just admit it once and for all.

firstly, there's no more first for me.

at the age of 17, nearing 18, it was gone for good.

no, i don't regret it.

secondly, i like a guy in the past.

i trusted him so much, giving him everything he wanted no matter what.

yes, it's included.

i know there will be no ending, i'm just hoping like some silly bitch.

1 year 5 months.

thirdly, a friend i barely know.

forced himself of me, even though i beg him to stop.

i didn't report to the police, i don't want things to turn ugly or anything.

hoping it will fade away, i treated him, still, as a friend.

forth, someone for money sake.

he's really nice, and willing to help when i was so in need of cash.

thanks for it, he's still a friend to me.

it only happened once.

i said all these out, not because i'm trying to gain anything out of it.

but it's to make me feel better and i think i should confess it myself and not through someone else's mouth.

yes, recently, the guy who i used to like so much, someone who i trusted so much, hurt me like mad tard.

he almost killed me in that way.

yes, i hate him for doing so.

but guess it slapped me hard on my face.

i should wake up from all these.

and stop it, what good it does?

almost nothing.

i was once silly, and i shouldn't let it continue.

nightmares cause of all these are not worth.

i have to put a stop.

left with a pack of lies,

goodbye.

chapter 317.

walk in the rain,

wash off those masks, wash off the pain, wash off all the thoughts. drench the feelings, drench the unhappiness, drench the burning sensation left in everything.

leave me lying there, all drench and dead.

let's not stop the pouring rain.

realization.



well, if you don't like my actions, it's none of my problem.
you can speak up to me, but i've got my reasons for my act.
don't think you're oh-so-innocent, cause there's fault with you too.
i'm sick of you thinking that everything is everybody's fault and not yours.
you're not always right, nobody is.

you should do some self-reflection.
i know i maybe overboard, but i really can't stand you attitude.
you think you're the oh-so-good one that we can't ignore you.
you kept blabbering about things in lesson, we need concentration.

stop repeating yourself, by saying something like
"omg, ______ is so hungry" 10 times within an hour.
how do you expect us to answer when we already know.
then you will go that we ignore you.
how funny you are.

you think i'm rude, i don't disagree with it.
cause i am, i admit.
it's part of me, and you drive it to get worst.
no i don't treat all people like that, but people like you, ought to deserve something like that.

you drove me to extreme, somehow, you giving me a face of please-come-irritate-me face.
how can i resist it?
nobody could.
and you start irritation first.

excel, you do have it, yet you said you didn't have.
you don't know how to use it doesn't mean you don't have it.
you could at least try, i pity ______ and _____.
they do and rush all by themselves till 4am.
yet you just get answers from others and sent to _____ and _____ treating that you did your part.

and, you always complaining that you're tired or having some stomach ache/cramp.
and we just let you rest without complain.
once happened, second time came, followed by third.
and you just happily surfing the com at the other side saying you needed to rest.
and i was like rushing here and there.
well done.

stop taking advantages of people.
we are not oblige to it.

does all this sound irresponsible?
yes to me.

you're plain rude as well.
know it youself and stop denying it.
you're a good denier.

more to say,
but oh well, this shall be all for now.

i don't need someone who need to reconsider friendship.
it's a fake and that's not call friendship at all.
nobody is perfect, so are you.
you're the oh-so-mighty-great one.
spare us.

there's nothing else i can say.

it's really quite sad to see what's happening to me or around me.

there's nothing much to say or do.

just a shake of the head and end it all.

i don't know, all seems to be blurred.

fuck it.

give a break, let's break free.

somehow, i really felt tired after everything.

it's time for me to break free from all the giving in and accommodating.

it wear me off so badly.

i tried my really best, but it seem to be so insufficient.

but it's true, everything wasn't match.

it's already a mistake to begin with.

we should have listen.

everything shouldn't be so tiring.

when enjoyment wasn't even there to the fullest.

it didn't help even if we talk about it.

damage already being made.

i tried so hard to take it all, yet it just kept charging towards me.

i'm not a dead, i do have my feelings.

i kept quiet, cause i need to do my thinking and there wasn't a need for me to speak.

when i talk, you assume i'm unhappy saying i'm fierce.

you don't know how mood spoiling that was.

to you, all the faults lies in me.

what should i do. yea, just shut up.

maybe i should say thanks to you, my trip wasn't enjoyable at all.

a word of never, a word filled with lies.

i've got so much to rant about.

but yet i don't see a need to.

i've got so much pictures to post.

but yet, nobody will be interested.

i've got so much to update.

but yet, i can't be bother to.

this seem like a dead space.

oh well, whatever.

BITCH.

on the outside, i maybe a crazy retarded who talk rubbish.

but why am i still so not happy on the inside?!

why am i so imperfect?

when things were so sweet..

dearest Darling, PeiJun, was such a sweetie today.

delivered her notes to me just for me to study.

it's like, she still have not end her exams yet.

yea, she woke up early and sent the notes to my door.

how sweet.

i miss her so freaking much. :(

i've got so much to type, but yet i've forgotten about what i wanna blog.

did lots of thinking yesterday, wasn't really happy.

i seem to miss out so much stuff, and obviously, i miss my whole bunch of friends.

it's like, everybody is so busy with their stuff and exams.

really hard for us to plan a meet up.

i don't even know their schedule.

please date me out after my papers which like ending on the 4th of sept.

i don't care who you are, just date me out.

cause, no matter what, you're so being missed by me!

no pointing of fingers, i know you miss me too.

don't tell me you don't.. :(

i dreamt of you, you being the hero.

guess no words can describe exactly how i feel.

but the dream made me feel safe.

yet, i know, a dream is just a dream.

a simple crush.

it almost came out of the bag that time.

but, i hope it didn't.

:)

i smoke, i drink, i club, i play.

but this doesn't mean anything in actual life.

i'm not a bad girl.

maybe, i'm a girl who in need.

that's really all.

full-stop.

please stop, never great.

just now was great, cept my 2 songs were missing.

yes, today wasn't like any other night.

maybe i've not gone for a normal night for long.

but today my dressing was totally different as well.

me love it many.

maybe, cause of my cough and drowsiness, i'm not that great clubbing mood.

fuck, and thanks to some messages, making it worst.

but oh well, i've got great company with me.

it cures all bad stuff.

thanks Karmen for dancing with me.

sorry that i neglecting you and leaving you in darkness.

i'll remind myself more often, sorry for being such a bitch.

me LOVE you!

thanks Sebby as well.

though it's random, but you came.

and it's like you hate dance floor, yet you were on it.

nice bo?!

okay, i think i've got lots of great people around me actually.

yes, baddies, fuck off and fuck yourself hard.

don't screw me up for some nonsensical stuff.

i don't deserve it.

lots of love,

G'nights.

i've got a feeling, if i only got the whole week to myself.

somehow, i miss alot of things.

yes, almost everything.

it seem like i'm losing contact with everything.

yes, i don't have much time for myself.

how pathetic can i be?

anyway, my life is crazy now.

i don't know much about myself now.

well, life is not usual.

is it good or bad.

i miss you guys.

lots to say, no time.

opps, uglier again!

update again!

stay tuned!

will there always be a tomorrow?

gosh, i'm so tired.

tomorrow is my presentation,

yet i'm not prepared for it.

projects, presentation, work and etc.

it's driving me mad like hell.

anyway, welcome my 2 additional card!

my long waited driving license and citi clear card.

shiok to the max!

oh oh oh!

play @ butter fact tonight.

i'm so gonna go!

i can't wait luh.

it better be good.

dblo that night sucks to the max.

raiding included, hell it.

:D

number 302, it's the same.

how long have it been that things were this way?

it seem like everything is in a drama now.

it's too much of a hectic, too much of emotions.

nothing seem really normal.

everything is just an act.

i doubt many will understand.

i'm so worn out.

not even knowing what's real.

with a blink, everything changes.

i'm so tired.

a straight line, not.

it's getting really tiring.

people have being messaging me through all channels.

asking me all types of different questions.

it's really tiring to keep answering and answering.

dammit.

dammit big bigger biggest time!

yes, i'm down with a sore throat again!

this time it felt so much worst.

:(

lock it soon, be numb to it.

i so feel like bursting.

i don't know who to be, what to be.

damn it.

i'll just take it as all my fault.

i really don't feel like saying anything more.

you all are expecting too much from me, i can't take it.

it's really getting hard to be me.

nothing seem right at all.

please scream at me, i can't take it.

dammit.

i need some room.

not even in the lost and found.

you sent me a message yesterday.

"please be normal tomorrow"

tell me what's normal?

i don't know what's normal and what's not.

i was really confused today.

i don't even feel like talking or anything.

and i was said by someone else for being so cold.

hell, i don't even know who am i becoming or anything.

yet you all are confusing me one by one.

it's becoming really hard to become me.

i don't even know who am i anymore.

i just feel like shut the fuck up and stay somewhere where nobody will ask me to be this and that.

don't ask me to be what or what, i'm not an actress.

it's becoming really retarded for me.

you don't know, you really don't.

i think i've changed.

it's amazed, i managed to change within such a short period of time.

don't judge.

[ ps : i think i like girls too. 'm a bisexual.]

anyway, while working at zouk yesterday, i'm totally disgusted by guys.

i admit there's so many pretty boys yesterday and i so almost nose bleed.

but got this particular ass, turned me off totally.

so practically, he was with his group of friends.

but he came down to wine bar with 2 of his female friends for a drink.

i'm not eavesdropping, it's like they are standing at the cashier area.

so, this guy, he's not bad looking or maybe you can say, attractive.

and the girls are not bad.

but through their conversation,

what i heard is that this guy, apparently have a girlfriend.

so they kept drinking and he was like hugging the 2 girls.

left and right, but this was okay.

friends do that, no harm.

but what gross me is that, one of the girl, rested her arm at the guy's crotch area.

i don't know whether are they too high or it's unintentional?

but the guy, apparently enjoying it.

later the rest of the group joined them.

and this guy,was like holding to the girl's waist and touching the girl's leg.

you know, when you seduction another party like that, soft touches.

and obviously, the girl knew what was the guy doing cause she's fucking looking at the hand.

later that part, the guy and girl stand up and they were like holding each other on the waist.

yes, they look like couple but 'm sure, super sure, they are not.

cause of the conversation before all these happened.

the guy fucking have a girlfriend.

and he left off earlier with his female friend.

oh man, he's a fucking jerk.

he just made me hate guys so much more.

goodness, i really don't understand guys.

but lucky for me, my guys friends are not like that.

least i hope.

all the misses, seriously.

omg, i miss clubbing.

but i miss my better complexion more.

no make up, just out like that.

gosh, what's happening to me now?

thursday quickly come!

i wanna go dblo/play.

be it whether am i going alone or what.

I WANNA GO CLUB!

seriously.

i don't feel like talking much.

not anyone at all.

outcasted.

be gone, for good.

i don't feel like being nice anymore.

it's tiring.

i don't wanna be naive anymore.

it upset me.

i don't wanna be a fool anymore.

it make me laugh with tears.

i don't wanna be stupid anymore.

it's killing me.

i'm really depressed for some retarded reasons.

i don't wanna spell it out.

it's like i feel like laughing at myself so much.

but i know it will make me look really retarded.

felt slight better after telling Peijun part on what's happening.

but i can't bring myself to say much more.

i'm too foolish and willing.

blame it on me.

i feel alone.

who's there?

nobody.

time for it, no more of the innocence.

so so so, i'm going to be what you all think of me.

if you don't believe me, i'll give you all the lies.

if you think i can never quit clubbing, i'll just club like crazy.

if you think i'm easy, i'll be.

i won't bother to defend myself anymore.

it's all too tiring.

you will make me who am i then.

enough, stop saying me.

don't tell me anything.

i don't need explanation or anything.

if you think it is, then it is.

you don't understand.

excuses, i had enough of it.

everything seem the same.

just like how it was that time.

don't tell me i'm nice or anything.

i don't take that, you don't know anything.

stop pushing blames and fault on me.

i need a breather, life's becoming really hectic for me.

seriously i don't know what to do now.

not that i don't wanna attend, it's just that my emotions are in a mess.

i don't know how to face it.

and you just say it right into me.

you making me worst.

you didn't even ask what's wrong.

you just accused me like this.

you don't know how it feels when tears just roll down like that.

it sucks to have this kind of life.

when everything is seriously an act.

nobody understand.

when you accelerate too fast, it crashed.

when you decelerate, you feel stupid.

when you go a normal speed, everything just goes bumpy.

TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!

i don't care anymore.

i feel like an idiot at this very moment.

why i didn't die in place of my grandmother?

just stab me hard.

keep it left, keep it right.

if you know, if you know.

i love my friends, they are my loves.

be it new or old, fat or thin.

:)

my one crazy girl, jasmine chye.

she's random and i can talk almost anything to her.

once i meet her, i can't stop talking to her.

i'm glad i went that night.

:D

Jac Jere Flora Felicia.

school's life is completely different with them around.

yes, i bet we're really noisy in the class.

but, who cares? i love it.

girls, please let me concentrate in class.

2 more months to exams.

i must start studying and pay attention.

HAHAHA!

it's beginning of the new sem!

BITCH!

anyway, i'm looking for my lover.

i don't exactly have her photo.

but i've got a rough sketch on how she look like.

please help me keep a look out of her.

she's one person that stole my whole heart away.

i miss her badly.

if found, please contact me.

bloodylife.jacqualine@hotmail.com

thanks a million.

:D

when one is pathetic, nothing seem beautiful.

yes, call me pathetic.

nobody really bother about me.

in another word, my existence don't really matter.

whatever is it, yes you hurt me.

i thought you and i were really close.

but actual fact, it seem to be just a pathetic act.

i would wait for you till your a levels end.

i understand how stress you will be.

i didn't really wanna bother you as well.

but now, you show me that, i'm no importance.

if you change your number, you could just tell me.

if you don't have my number, you can check it out from others or just ask me online.

and hell yes, you didn't even inform me.

you can chat with everbody, go out with everybody, cept for me.

you don't know how it feels.

i tried really hard to at least date you out for a dinner date.

just a 5 mins will be great.

but you just gave me tons of rejections or ignores.

i'm really disappointed in you.

you don't know how much our friendship means to me.

i don't know what it means to you, but enough.

you did everything that were so wrong.

gracie, i'm disappointed with you, thoroughly.

enough of it already.

we're strangers.

just a little random, continue to be random.

HAHA! this is an ugly and weird picture of mine.

but i love it!

i'm not pretty, just plain!

love me or hate me, i don't really bother.

:D

somehow, somehow..

GIVE ME A P-PLATE PLEASE!

dumb.

bring on the joy.

everybody thought i couldn't make it the first time.

so did i thought so too.

but, i've did it in the first try!

i've passed my driving!

thought it's really a just pass.

but i still passed and got the license!

but i've got no car to drive.

:(

you just don't understand why

if i want to, i would have right at the beginning.

what for you fucking want to expose me.

now i can feel bad luck coming, charging towards me.

you may say i'm thinking too much.

cause you don't fucking understand.

i'm seriously pissed.

super duper i'm telling you this.

you all just don't understand.

now i don't even have a dim of confidence anymore.

thanks so much.

i so don't feel like talking to anyone now.

seriously, pissed.

being doubtful about and un-appreciated.

hell out of it.

i'm just trying to help and hopefully lighten the load of yours.

and what i get in the end?

doubts and questioning.

if you don't know, two heads are way better than one.

so what if i have not done that particular project before?

i've being through the module.

yes, i may not know the exact answers,

but least, i can help to think of the answers, or even research on it.

and you fucking tell me that " if i were you, i'll go to sleep"

fine then, since you said it, i shall just go off and not disturb you.

and ask you to get lost then.

and here you go asking me not to get angry.

i'm not only angry but irritated.

i feel insulted alright.

whatever then, i'll not step into any of your matter anymore.

if you ever ask for help again, i shall not even bother.

i'll just ignore and continue with my stuff.

you're a nice friend to me.

but your acts, kill me sometimes.

i'm not whatever you think i am.

get it?

it's different, not like normal.

do you know how tiring is it?

having to keep thinking of somebody, something, but not even be able to hold on to it.

i'm so experiencing this right now.

there's so much thing i would really like to get,

people that i really miss and so want to meet them up,

so many things i want to do,

but, there's so many restrictions.

money is the most important factor.

time is the second.

my misses are all in school, preparing for exams, projects and etc.

and hell yes, don't have much time for me.

even 5 mins, i'll be happy.

Gracie, Pei Jun, Jasmine, Shuxian, Hwee Khim, Ying Lin and others.

i so so so wanna meet them.

but i know, it won't be easy.

they have just started school, yet i'm only starting next week.

please please tell me when you all are free!

there's so much i want to buy too.

just give me a thousand, it will be enough.

i won't ask for more.

i need a job to fulfill my cravings, but yet i'm not allowed to work.

bag, shoes, top, bottom, dress, cosmetic, skincare.

all these stuff freaking need money.

even if i go out, i need money too.

hell it.

yes, more clubbing please.

before all will be too tired.

i need more happy and great time!

party party, drink drink, pictures pictures, fun fun.

i wanna travel overseas.

even to malaysia, i'll be happy.

feeling trap in Singapore.

it's so boring.

anybody?

i'm feeling so tired just thinking of all these stuff.

driving nuts.

:(

so much to say, yet so little time to be spent.

HELLO!

have been wanting to blog ever since wed.

but did not have the time to do so, or maybe it's mood.

anyway, i'm really happy on wed, before that, sad to extreme.

happy part is that, finally finally, i went to club with karen again.

it's like ever since one year ago.

yes, we did have hell lots of fun.

both of us got a little tipsy.

it's rather rare for me to get tipsy and can't stand or walk really straight.

but not drunk i remember every single moment.

not that i'm a good drinker but i just drank a little fast and mood is not really straight.

but i love it, hope this coming wed will just be as great.

more drink, louder music and better tracks!

oh ya! another happy matter is, i finally met my AIAI!

JASMINE CHOW!

you don't know how much i missed her.

yes, i don't miss poly life at all but i do miss her.

when i saw her, i feel that it's like years ever since i saw her.

just about half a year that i've not met her.

but it seem to be so much longer.

she's someone i can just talk frank with.

it just feels so nice to meet someone that you miss yet didn't have chance to date her out.

it's really rare to meet her on the street or something.

thanks Jasmine.

my holiday feels more complete now.

:)

it feels great to live such a live, in need of more.

when's the last time i really shopped and having bags of buys?

last year? or maybe even further back to 2 years ago.

gosh, i miss that feeling so much.

and today, finally, i did it again!

it felt so great and madly enjoyable.

of course, it's lesser comparing to last time.

but least, i'm getting back that heavenly feeling.

thanks to the girls, accompanying and shopping together with me.

a pity that flora gotta leave early, if not, there will bound to have more fun.

soon, another shopping trip please.

and yes, i owe felicia 55 bucks!

gosh, i'm in debts, can't shop much any sooner.

clear those debts and be free from them

and i'll save up for the next shopping trip.

really happy with my buys.

it's like what i've being wanting to get.

though i did not complete my list, impossible.

i need more money!

bought 2 tops, 1 biker's jacket, 1 bag and a ring.

left with bottom, dress, shoe and another bag.

the prices seem to be really quite worth it.

top is like 15 bucks each and the ring like only 4.95 bucks, from cotton on.

biker's jacket at 55 bucks.

bag is 29 bucks, originally 55 bucks.

it's not very cheap, but least, i don't feel so much of a heartache.

i feel happy.

wednesday i'm going to buy that pair of shoes, i really hope i do.

money please come to me, i'll be nice!

oh, and guess i won't be heading down to Bugis street to shop anymore.

maybe it's cheaper, but the clothes there, not my age type.

i'm old already, i can't wear those filled with weird prints.

was so disappointed with the clothing there.

just that pair of shoes and i'll be really happy. :(

[ PS : today the money spent is purely my own money, not my sisters. ]

i'm dead beat from all the shopping and walking today.

shall head to my oh-so-comfy bed now!

G'nights y'all!

just those mouth and not a word.

PHOTOS!

Ladies Night on 17o6o9

18o6o9

anyway! guess what!

seeee the next pictureeeeeeeee!

tell me what you saw! :D

spin it right, spin it crazy.

club for the last two nights.

wednesday was crazy with all the fun and perspiration.

Phuture air con broke down and leaking water.

and hell yes, it's like a sauna with hell lots of people.

crazy.

thursday was suppose to be nice.

but it's so empty, i'm not used to it.

i wonder why is there so much bollywood people.

they danced like having prata making session.

i'm not refering to all, but those who irritated me.

don't be offended.

but all in all, i love the 2 nights.

great company, great music, great workout.

yes, i go clubbing to sweat it out.

not fishing, just music and burn fats.

photos to be updated again.

'm feeling hell-oh sick.

drowsy.

G'nights

i don't, not a need.

congrats me, i'm sick again.

down with flu, phlegm stuff and cough.

feeling so uncomfortable.

please please, don't give me fever.

i wanna enjoy my holiday for now.

:(

put it up, take it down.

YES!

finally i've received the mail from Fujifilm!

that long waited mail for me to collect my camera!

i was like jumping and dashing to my house just to open the letter.

and that idiotic smile did not leave my face.

i'm just like that, happy and excited for silly stuff.

HAHAHA!

anyway, if you don't remember why i've gotten myself a camera,

no fear, just read the photo below.

hope it will help you refresh the memory abit!

:D

so once i read through the letter,

i take my ic and out i go to collect the camera.

my mother was like saying i crazy.

just reached home then going out again.

but i just can't wait man.

it's like i received the letter on a friday.

and the collection day is like monday to friday.

it's almost so impossible for me to wait to get it on my hands on monday.

so yea, rushed down to get it.

was like super excited luh.

waited for awhile in office.

and tadah!

my camera was on my hands!

hell-oh-so-lucky, i've got the camera in black!

yes, my favorite color.

and it's really so much nicer.

but even if i get silver, i wouldn't mind.

getting black is a bonus.

just bought the memory card today.

and i'm so ready to make full use of it.

it's like so cool.

the functions of the camera is really easy to use.

though it's a little bulky, but it's okay.

:D:D:D:D

everything, put a smile on that silly face.

OMG!

i'm so hooked up with Boys Before Flowers.

not that the actors are Oh-so-handsome, maybe there's 2 that are really cute.

but it's really damn hilarious.

by the way, if you don't know, Boys Before Flowers is the F4 show.

there's Japanese version, Taiwan version and anime.

but i personally feel that this Korea version is really damn funny.

i couldn't stop laughing just now.

while you're on holiday, maybe you should catch it..

but you should enjoy your holiday too!

:D

just then, feeling ever so lousy.

dearest o9o6o9,

today i feel really lousy.

i'm upset and it makes me feel really terrible of myself.

yes, maybe i'm not a good friend.

i'm really trying so hard and yet, i failed so terribly.

i'm not a good friend, i never know how.

people treat me just like a pillar.

ignoring the presence when not needed.

but yet lean on it when feeling tired.

i don't mind this fact, cause i know i'm in some help.

but it does hurt me sometimes when ignoring get overloaded.

it makes me feel that, my presences is just so insignificant.

my opinion, my views, everything about me, is just override.

i'm not important, it's okay.

i don't matter, it's okay.

i don't have a stand, never mind.

give me a breather, some respect.

maybe that's all i need.

when you all just decide, and making it final without even asking me.

that's what made me upset.

i made my views, all so not important.

other people views, hell yes and agreement.

how do you feel if you're in my shoes?

great? happy? joyful?

i doubt so.

sometimes i feel like a fool for being a friend.

in friends, you don't need consideration.

you don't have to consider whether to continue the friendship or what.

it seems so sick and make me feel really retarded.

once a friend, is always a friend, this is my statement.

even if now you hate me, dislike me, drifted away,

but one day if you need help, i'm oh-so-willing to help you out.

this is me.

i'm going really easy on everything.

i don't wanna voice some stuff out,

cause i don't want everything to turn so ugly or anything.

i just want it to drift away.

leave me out, i keep my silence.

making joke out of me, i'll laugh with you.

shout at me, i'm all ears to it.

ignoring me, i'll just forget it.

i'm easily affected,

that's all.

Signing off,

Jacqualine

that change, is just minor.

okay! so now is about my hair.

before i show you my permed hair, i shall show you a photo of my straight hair.

:)

actually now i start to miss my straight hair.

but i'm happy with my hair now too.

that day before i step into the salon, i'm like super nervous and scare.

nervous about the end result and scare that i might not look good.

but, everything was really quite fine.

:)

this is the 3 colorful stuff that are mainly used on my hair.

it did amazed me, it's like, how on earth can it make my hair till some curly stuff?

that 3 type of cones and rubber bands.

HAHA! i couldn't stop laughing at myself when i see this.

it's like lawyer's wig like.

it's not heavy or pain, but just funny.

so are you ready for the end result.

but the photo showed will be after about 3 wash.

i couldn't stand of not washing for a day.

so, yea.

i know i really look much older, but this photo my hair is still a little wet.

and i really don't know how to style it.

if you know me well, you will know i don't spend time styling my hair.

i'm not good at it.

guess from this 2 photos my hair looks better right? :D

yea, the curls are much softer now.

and i really like it. :)

money flies away, troubles set in.

oh my, i've seriously overspent this week!

guess i spent around 200 over nothing.

100 on hair, 50 plus on cab, 50 plus out with friends.

NOT PRODUCTIVE!

okay, i set my heart.

i shall not take cab anymore!

it's really expensive and i'll still be late.

maybe i should make a habit to prepare earlier and leave early.

oh, and guess what!

today, i worn heels out to the street.

and thanks to my stubbornness, i came home with my feet sore and full of blisters.

HAHA, I'M LIKE LAUGHING AT MYSELF NOW!

worst of all,

a blister burst, and it's at the sole of the feet.

i'm limping my way now.

sucks sucks!

and FINALLY!

i've permed my hair.

my mummy said it's ugly and don't suit me.

whereas my friends said it's not bad cept for ONE person.

i'm sad by the respond.

but, I'M STILL HAPPY WITH MY CHANGE! :D

photos will be up soon, i hope.

maybe monday? :D

G'nights.

limit hit, bam it goes.

I realized something about me.

yes, i really hate this.

i show my temper easily.

sorry those who suffered under my temper explosion.

really do hope that, injuries suffered is not deadly.

i'm really sorry, i hate myself for it.

it's part of me, i did try to change and chase it away.

but it just stay and remain.

i even feel like getting a tattoo for it just to remind myself.

guess one day, everybody will just leave me.

reason is simply my temper.

i really don't want it to happen.

yet i can't remove it from my blood.

i'm paranoid.

this is really bad.

let your hair down now, it's party time!

yes, LONG WAITED MOMENT!

it's holiday!

i've got so many stuff on my what-to-do-list!

but i know, it's really impossible for me to fulfill all.

one by one, i'll take my time.

but i've got 3 most important task.

paint my room, change my image and ENJOYMENT BABY!

:D

kbox and out with my PIEs tomorrow.

clubbing night on wed?

anymore?!

pathetic.

m

PEOPLE, DATE ME OUT!

Very POP!!

so so so, i did went alone.

BUT, i met up my "competitors" there.

yes, i've never ever met them before, they are total strangers.

AND HELL YES, WE'RE FRIENDS NOW! :D

start preparing around 8.

when come to make up and preparation, i do take awhile.

ladies, what do you expect?

but well, the hair didn't turn out nice.

so, i just left it loose and slowly return back to normal.

i put on eyeshadow, but like no difference.

sad man, but i still like it when i look at the mirror that day!

:D

as for the dress, it looks really formal.

and i don't really have chances for me to wear.

so i just pick and wear it for the event.

i ended up looking like office lady or someone going function.

TOO FORMAL, though it's my favorite dress. :(

anyway, thanks to 987fm that i won tickets for this Very POP event.

yup, as one of the top 10 of the 987 Goes Gaga .

:)

as mention, i went to mediacorp to collect it.

was pretty shock on what i received.

cause it's not in a kind of letter form.

it's a mini package.

yup, it's really colorful.

and it's quite cute.

couldn't really bear to destroy it.

i just love to keep stuff for memories.

but if i don't open it, how am i going for the event.

so i just ended up cutting the very edge of it.

carefully, not destroying it.

with a pathetic small scissor, it's really quite hard to cut on that material.

it's not very thin, a little thick.

OPPS! GUESS HOW THE TICKET LOOK LIKE?!

it's really cool and unique.

i just don't know how they come up with this idea.

i'm amazed by the idea.

didn't really believe what they said about the form of invitation.

but it ended up to be true!

it's a...........................

BALLOON!

call me mountain turtle or what, but it's freaking cool to me.

well, least this is the first time i received this form of invitation.

there's printing on it, but it's too small to see when the balloon is inflated.

so, BLOW IT!

finally when the balloon is a little fuller,

i'm able to those small prints.

i'm not typing the whole text here.

read it yourself, bigger picture below!

i'm good alright, don't want you to strain your eyes.

:D

battery charged, dslr brought, ready to leave!

took a cab there and reached around 10.

so i thought Ally was about to reach too.

but noooooooo, her cab was late.

stupid uncle, make her late and thus making me waiting for her all alone.

actually kelvin was there already.

but i'm too shy to go find him to say hi.

i'm a shy girl.

but he was just beside me!

and i don't even dare to say hi.

the fact is, he know is me too.

and he, also shy to say hi.

how funny.

finally i saw Ally and her brother arrived.

they saw kelvin and friend first.

guess i just look too different from the photos.

yup, she couldn't recognize me.

so, i took the initiative.

shortly, Serene and her friend reached too.

TIME FOR PARTY!!

anyway, the Zouk area was actually filled with balloons and colors.

and i found this very cute board outside.

quite cute isn't it?

though i still don't know why they choose Simpson.

the whole Zouk was really filled with balloons.

colorful lights, colorful balloon and lots of people.

went around to explore and there's actually this POP Quiz where you can win drinks.

so, we went to try it out and we cheated!

and won a drink coupon each.

and the person who is giving the quiz, wore this super cute hat.

it is actually made of those bubble foam.

creative, she look like one of the character from some cartoon.

:D

so, the event started and the Very POP contestants were on the stage and performing.

and there's GAGA too!

she's not bad, actions were quite alike.

nice job. :)

we were camwhoring all the while.

serene was the spark to it.

she just can't stop taking photo.

so i ended up just like her.

:D

WITH ALLY!

this lady over here, is super skinny and tall!

i'm only same height as her when i'm already standing on the walkway and with her standing on the road.

am i really that short? :S

WITH SERENE!

[PS : am i getting fairer, make up too white, or the flash?]

i don't know why, but both of us are really red.

MUST BE THE RED LIGHTING!

we only drank one pathetic cup okay!

oh, and i feel that, she look a little like Nicolette.

haha!

she's like so excited that both of us got a tongue stud.

so we ended up taking photos showing it.

my tongue is fat bomb!

WITH SERENE AND ALLY!

okay, both of them are tall, i'm short!

they also, kept saying that i'm short and made me stand in between them when taking half body shot.

just to let me know.... =/

i left the 2nd earliest that day.

kelvin and friend left first.

too bad i got exam the next day.

if not i'll sure stay till closing!

it's really such a pity you know?

:(

i really hope there will be a soon soon soon again!

hur hur hur?!

Serene, Jacq, Gabriale, Jayme, Ally, Kelvin

THEY ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE.

we should meet up soon!

it's really nice knowing!

loves!

okay, enough of blogging!

last paper tomorrow!

i should be studying instead!

but i'm already having holiday mood.....

this holiday i've got so much to do.

i can't wait, 1 more pathetic day!

come fast!

:D

BLEAH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

take care all!

LOVE ME! :D