well, lots of thoughts went through my mind.
alot of thing really happened to me during the times of last year.

i felt isolated without any of my pals.
nobody to really talk my heart out.
being drifted from everything and everyone.
feeling lost and incomplete.
loneliness leading to tears at night.

yea, some of them drag on to this year.
it's really simply miserable.
especially when i did nothing and now realising actually i could have do something.
i'm partly at fault for all my miser.
i'm part of the cause for everything.

i'm sorry...
- to all my pals that i did not play a part to date you all out.
- for what i've treated you all in that manner and attitude.
- for all my sinful acts that creating all the misunderstanding.
- that i've built a wall in between us without knowing.
- that i've shouted at you all and using all the valgurities.
- for being so harsh at you during quarrels.
- that i did not play a part in the friendship.
- that i took everything for granted.
- that i always think i'm the right and innocent one.
- for not placing myself in the shoe of yours.
- that i always think i've done enough when i'm could have do more.
- for all the selfishness and greediness in me at times.
- that i've being lazy at times to contact you all.
- being over emotional and hot tempered.

i've lots more of sorry that i would wanna spell it out.
but it's gonna be way to long.
all i just wanna say is that,
i'm sorry for everything that caused the distance between all of us.
i know i'm too late, but i wish someday, we could be like the past.

PS: i know this might just be my wishful thinking. i'm ain't that important anymore.

all i can say now is i'm injured.

my both hands, right foot and waist.

how pathetic am i now.

everybody look at me when i walk on the street.

i couldn't really move now.

typing is i little pain as well.

how sad.

poor girl.... :(

you all won't believe what i just did.

painting of my room, rearranging the furnitures, cleaning up, and everything involving my room.
yes, it's all done by myself!
by the painting is half done only.
not enough time as i started painting only at 4.30.
shall continue during the weekends.
my hands now are seriously tired and numb.
poor hands are unable to move much.
i'm just so tired now.

turning in, shall post photos of my room real soon.
:)

out with gracie on sat.
didn't take much pictures that day.
maybe both have no mood.
but we play a little of effects of the camera.

went out for some sakae session with Shu xian.

yup, it's finally after so long.

but this time round, we ate little.

it's not like last time.

maybe we both are old now.

how sad.

you shouldn't try to hide. :)

went over to esplanade to get some of my shoots done.
it's really funnly if you see how we tried to take.
getting all the angle is tough.
but seriously fun.
then after, we walked all the way back to get my negative scan.
collecting tomorrow though.
the journey wasn't long, and fun is always around.
:)

okay, seriously i don't feel well now.
i seriously feel like puking.
it's like just so uncomfortable right now.
leaving.

no, i really just don't understand alright.
why people do speak words that without thinking.
yea, it really hurt me when those words like stabbing right into me.
you simply made me speechless with your doing.
and unknowing, you fucking bring me all the emo feelings.
i'm not gonna talk to you or her anymore to prevent myself from getting anymore hurt.
this is not the first time.
you all are just so cruel to me.

so what if i'm left on the shelve forever?
does it even bother you?
even if i become some old hag, it's none of your business.
and i'd be happy to be one!
you spoiled my happy mood.

shall update later in the day when i cool everything off.

FINALLLYYYYY!
i can have good rest and mugging isn't needed anymore.
i feel that i have fresher breath now!
*ps: don't fart into my air ar!*


bbq-ed with my class yesterday night at ECP.
it's abit funny on how we bbq.
but before that, the ants disgusted us causing us to feel sick.
hence, we abandon our pit and bbq at the shelter.
it's illegal though.
who CARES?!
BOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

didn't feel great when they mention about waiter(wei de).
thoughts and memories ran through my mind all over again.
yes, i do miss him.
but it's already the past past tense.
i don't know why he affected me so much.
sat along the beach making me feel more comfortable.
clearing my mind with the sound of sea wave.

tried to make myself better by laugh at all silly stuff.
yea, it did help but, it's really hard.
but thanks for all the silly stuff.
i laughed like an idiot, though maybe i really am.

won money 3.50 after 35 rounds of blackjack.
standard bet is 50 cent.
really little, but it's just for the fun of it.
:B

photos for yesterday

THE RETARD IDIOT

yup, my very 1st post in this blog.
used back blogger cause i created this new skin.
you may not like it, but i find it rather extreme and cute.
you may comment on the skin.
i welcome all the comments!

anyway, 7+ hours more to my last paper, OOP.
but yet, i seriously do not have any mood to study.
guess i'm so gonna be dead in it.
BUT, who cares? HA!
one big step futher away from my target GPA.
how sad.

i'm gonna save up to buy Canon EOS 350D kit.
guess it's around 1.3thousand bucks for the brand new.
and maybe, 800 plus for the second hand?
oh well, slowly save up man.
shall postpone my hongkie trip to next year.
wanna save for my camera, my love.
:D

hope later when i go to sleep i won't dream of my holga.
have been really over excited about it.
hence, causing a couple of nights with the dreams of it.
quickly come baby!
you're making me waiting tooooooooo long.

*ps : coffee make me wanna stomachy. feel like poot poot-ing. :B*