PAIN.

you don't know how much it hurts.

those words you said seem to piercing through me innocently.

tell me how to believe that you're actually those kind of people?

show me the real you i beg.

i've been through and holding on too much.

i won't be able to hold it much longer.

you have to know i do have my limits.

i'm not just a toy for you to play with.

masked myself to hide those tears and emotions.

hide my fears and agony from all.

what else can i do cept for all these?

i just wanna be normal.

relationship isn't my game.

The Smile.

how to tell when things become fake?

how to tell when smile is just an act?

things turn unreal with unexplainable reasons.

smiles became fake with a show to play.

my smile is no longer real.

i'm so tired of having to fake,

yet i can never put on that perfect smile anymore.

i'm never gonna be the same.

Burden.




Constant wishing that growing up is not a must.
Not that there's desire of any fairy tales.
But just the hatred of having to tear with all the matters.
There's too much to handle.

In your eyes, I've never grown.
In your eyes, I'm still the spoilt child.
In your eyes, I never ever learn to save
In your eyes, everything is negative.

But in fact, I've grown up.
But in fact, I'm fairly independent.
But in fact, I did tried to save.
But in fact, I'm not everything that terrible.

Stop throwing all the burdens to me.
Claiming it's my responsibilities.
I don't have the strength or power to do so.
No, I'm not trying to shrink away from my share.

Don't feed me with guilt that I shouldn't get.
You once said, I need not worry.
I do feel the guilt resulted by my fault.
I'm a human too.

Sometimes I really wish that you know.
What you all giving me, bring me silent tears.
The pressure, the burdens, the guilts and everything.
I feel so terrible and trapped.

Yet I couldn't speak up to you,
Black face, rude words and other implications.
Tell me what to do to make you all understand?
I've grown up, I know everything, I'm not what you think.

Dear sisters, am I really your blood sister?
Why do I seem so distance away from you all?
I do wish that you all can know everything of mine.
But it seem so impossible.

Dear sisters, can you give me more understanding?
I really won't be able to take it much longer.
Will you even be nice and spend some alone time with me?
How long have it been?

I wish you all really treat me as your sister.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld