when it bring thing close to unexpected tears.


met up with Pei Jun just now.
that one moment of stare and shockness,
then with a oh-so-natural hug.
at that moment, so many things run through my mind.
that's when i almost let those unknown tears roll of the brim of my eyes.

i believe, she felt the same too.

thanks darling.

question those reflections.



eiks, i feel really cruel.
i'm a murderer of many.
maybe about 50 lifes.

prawning is fun with the catch hook,
cruel when you pull the hook out of the mouth and throw it into your net,
murderous when you kill, cook and put it into your mouth.
this is what i did just now, i'm guilty.

but i really did had an enjoyable time.
at least, i didn't hide any facts in the truth.
i'm glad.

MPoV : Bishan might be faster and more worth when it come to prawning.

G'nights

still the same, or maybe even worst.

alright, i officially declare myself as seriously ugly.
everyday i look in the mirror, i seem to be getting uglier.
my face rounder and rounder, and somehow, simply ugliness.
i feel like smashing that ugliness in the mirror.
it's like irritating and pissing me.

tell me what to do with this kind of ugliness?

turn it all over new, yet everything will still be the same.

Packed my room during the weekend.
seriously, i need to renovate my room.
something seem to be missing, the walls are disturbing empty.
can't stand it yet i don't have a penny to do anything.

tomorrow my last day of work and left a few days for me to enjoy.

gosh, please please please.

may those few days turn out well and good.

i seem to have lost my freedom ever since.

sucks.

importances is not me, hatred loves me.


finally went to a doctor today.
things doesn't seem to be too good.
doctor said i might have bronchitis for now.
and if it still doesn't recover or become worst, i've gotta go for an xray.
yes, again.

i was even give the medication spray that asthma victims use.
just in case, i got too breathless.
i'm told to take it everywhere with me.

please, get well soon.

disappoinment is what i'm borned with.


i'm utterly disappointed.
i shouldn't have even go, never will i want again.
enough.

nobody understand how i feel at all.
or even bother about me.
never did they try to be in my shoes.
they don't know how hard i've tried till i'm so worn out.

don't ask me to do anything when in the end, you all don't even take it seriously.
it's hard work, lots of thinking and consideration.
but it's all down the drain.
pissed.

i'll never make an effort to do anything more.
too tired, too worn out, too hurt.

fuck, i'm really pissed and disappointed.

Empty words, yet greatest meaning.



In beginning, all seem so steady and everything like wa wa hooo.
but now, everything crumble.
E-mails, SMS saying that "i've got something on, so sorry. will meet after it."
you don't know how much turn of it is.
i'm seriously disappointed and do not wish to go anymore.

so what if i'm the organizer, planner or whatever you say?
nobody gives me the respect.
change the plan and stuff.
yea, whatever, where's respect?

don't tell me you appreciate it, it doesn't seem real.
is it just for show then?
i'm quite sure.

i'm really disappointed.
you don't know how much i look forward toward this.
but now, i really don't feel like giving a damn about it.
who does?

yea, if they ever read this post, they will just blame it on me and stuff.
whatever, i'm used to it.
no importance, that's it.
but i this is how i seriously feel.

you don't know how it feels like when things seem to go so well in the beginning and became FUCK when it's drawing so near.
give up trying.

today i woke up craving so much for some surprise,
and this is what i get.
what a pleasant surprise.
THANKS!

dammit.

In it, or isn't?


Still, coughing like a dragon, sneeze like an elephant.
Pondering whether should i visit the doctor.
It have been almost a month.
It's killing me by disturbing my needed sleep.

Have been working this couple of days.
and i'm now blogging in the office.

it's funny as you see the stack of company's clients information stacking up my table.
but i quite like this job, you don't have to use brains.
just type, click and select.
though, this is a really boring job.

till then.

[PS : Chinese dictionary shall be my new best friend for my duration in work. HA!]

be glad that you are not my neighbour.
if not, you will be terrified by an elephant sneezing and dragon coughing.
HAHAHAHA!

i'm still feeling as sick.
damn.

too much of a good thing, coming to an end.






i've slept through the day.
still feeling really uncomfortable.
cough cough sneeze sneeze.

thanks nicholas for the job.
tomorrow am reporting for work at 8.45.
hopefully i'll leave home earlier and find my way.
it's a alienated place for me.
i've never being there.

finally i will have some income for myself.
:)

sleepless night with it bugging me.







i'm feeling so unwell.
i've being wearing mask for yesterday.
i don't want to spread my sickness around.
it's cough virus and flu bug.

save me, i'm feeling terrible.
not much of a proper sleep.
sucks.



[PS: i'm wearing green contact lens, and i love it.]


ah.... ah.... ah-chooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

dreams that filled with you, is it good or bad?


twilight down, new mood next.
i'm just so in love.
okay, guess i'm lagging but no blames alright?
mountain turtle, what you expect?

yesterday night i was clumsy.
i pulled my stucked belt too hard and it shoot right into my lower lips.
i don't know how it happened, it's a flash.
pain and numb, bleeding next.
sucks.

i suspect i'll die one night due to coughing.
i'm coughing like a coughing machine.
cough for hours non-stop.
irritating!

reflecting is what it seem to hurt.



seriously, i think i'm too tired i to continue.
you always make promises but yet you don't do those promises.
what's the use?

since when have you done a single thing, just for me?
you said: "let's meet up on XXX"
i said : "see mood then"

but i called you the day before on XXX, you missed it and don't bother to return call or even send a message.
seriously, i'm tired of trying so hard when you don't even bother.
you irritating me till this point that it seriously boils me.

do you realise something, you have not fulfill much of those promise?
do you realise that we were so drifting away?
guess you didn't even realise.

come'on, you need a live.
you're no longer young that everybody have to do things for you, give in to you.
it just wear people off so much.

i don't have so much time to accommodate.
i guess, i won't give in and be soft hearted anymore.
a little too much for me to take.

too tired...