Heavy hearted.

Waking up today seem to be another mistake.
Quarrels, shouting and crying filled the house.
I felt the weight in my heart the I can't stand.
I already feel torture enough, please stop.

I feel like messaging someone at that very moment.
But I could not find words to say.
I don't seem to be able express myself.
I'm scare, really scare.

Family should just stop waking me up in this manner.
Why does it seem to be so hard and tough?
I always wish that my family will have no drama.
It's really depressing to be me.

I can't hold longer.
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Courage.

The will to live,
The strength to face,
The brave to go through,
It's all about courage.

I've lost every bit of it.
I can't bring myself to face, to live, to go through any bits.
Everything will just end up in lies.
I'm not up for it.

Not much to begin with,
Too much to end with.
I'm a pathetic loser I admit.
Ending up in tears.

How to find courage?
I will never know.
Given up, everything is pointless.
Stone away.

I'm really tired.
No longer who I am.
Getting worst,
Getting too lost.

Courage, where are you?
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Too much.

When matters do not lay still,
When there's too much complications,
When tears flow too much,
When dishearten falls.

Put those words in,
That's what people think.
Hard to defend,
Pointless to do so.

They insisted, they added in force.
Tears rolled, people ignored.
Accuse, outcast, drift and finally forgot.
They are just part and parcel.

I've done my say,
Too much happening for me to handle.
I can't cope, I can't bear with it.
Give me some time.

Goodbye.
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