Stone away.

draining away,

nothing was left.

couldn't recuperate,

lost of breath.

where's the pause button?

i needed it badly.

no, i don't wanna stop.

i have to go on.

let me go, you have to.

i can't remain, i don't belong.

take those memories away,

it's a killer, it's suicidal.

drown me with painkillers,

which has never work.

i feel so stone, let me drift.

don't bring me back to reality.

I really feel like laughing.
Why am I always in this pathetic and joke state?
Do I have the looks that I can never be number one?
Why is it so hard?

I just one a proper one.
There to make me the one.
There to tell me, I'm the only.
There to assure me.

But crap, there isn't any.
I give up, I surrender.
I won't believe, I won't trust.
Lies filled the whole of everything.

I'm speechless, that's it for everthing.
No words, no explanations.
Stop it, end it.
Goodbye, forever.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Neglected.

my health, my family, my friends.

i believe that i've neglected them totally cause of my selfish wish.

yes, that's to earn money for my birthday.

it's only a about 2 more weeks away.

i've been so busy and tired till i barely even have the time to type over here.

and i believe, my total funds now is barely even 500.

can any kind soul just give me some amount?

just a dollar, i'll appreciate it.

lots of alcohol in my body now.

thanks to my job.

no, i don't get drunk.

but my body seem to be getting weaker.

i couldn't get enough sleep.

i can't sleep well, nightmares.

they can't seem to stop bothering me.

someone, somebody, please put me to sleep.

i do wonder, if my choice is right.

but since it's made, i can't do much about it.

regrets, not my type.

i've gotta live with it well.

make me grow up, i need to be stronger.

i don't have anybody with me.

all my friends, they seem to be not around.

my family, speechless.

i don't have a boyfriend, i can't be bother.

i don't believe in love, i can't.

i don't wanna be fooled over and over again.

it's pathetic.

love me, don't you?

never.

that's not it.

as always, what can i do?

i'm fine, i'm okay.

it's not the fact.

just that, i'm used to it.

i've gotta force myself,

i've gotta bend my feelings,

i've gotta let go of my thoughts,

just not to make things ugly.

i'm demanding,

but there isn't a exit for it.

as much as i need to reach out,

the more i get rejected and dump.

make this a joke,

laugh out loud at me.

make me a joke,

treat me as a clown.

i wouldn't mind,

i wouldn't care.

just be there,

that's all i need.

yet, nobody knows,

nobody understand.

misunderstand and left.

what's more to add?

it's done,

i'm losing myself.

where am i?

the past tense.

There's times silence is much needed,
Yet there's times that words are needed so badly.
Don't leave it hanging,
Complete that pathetic puzzle of curiosity.

Uncompleted, unanwered.
Annoyance build up.
Fustrations, irritation.
The other suffers.

Just that simple task,
Yet it seem so impossible you made it.
A selfish choice of yours,
Bring deafness into me.

Moving away,
But it just keep coming back.
No leads, no clue.
Just tonnes of unnecessary thinking.

You, left me there.
In pain of the confusion.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Alone yet again,
My mind starting to run wild.
Hold back those tears,
Yet my heart souring with emotions.

I feel like speaking,
The space I needed is not there.
I wanna let you know so much,
It's the past that I've let go.

Tell me that, you promised.
Another broken words.
You made me trust,
All is over.

You once said,
You're here.
In my mind,
Another lie you made.

I gave you faith,
Disappointment I gotten in return.
I gave up,
You didn't try.

What's left,
An end of everything.
Reminiscing of everything,
You didn't know.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Piercing Pain.

i don't know if that's the option i should made.

i shouldn't make myself miserable anymore,

i should put an end to it, but yet, i'm bleeding.

it seem like it's getting worst than before.

guess it's only the beginning.

time will heal all wounds, hopefully.

but, there's bound to be scars.

scar remover doesn't exist in this case.

she's someone that i'll go great length for.

too late, i gave up.

guess she will be better off without me.

i know she will.

take care.

when there's no words to describe.

i won't deny how much you have disappoint me.

i won't deny that i'm angry with you.

but yet, i'm sorry that you didn't do well.

what else more do you what me to say?

yes, you're never a good friend there for me at all.

not even just once, i don't remember any.

maybe you took me for granted, maybe treated me as a fool.

i wouldn't know.

how much disappointment have you actually gave me.

and all of them, were such a blow in my face.

truth to said, i've long give me.

give up on everything that are related to you.

that's was my last hope pinned on you.

you don't know how i feel all these times.

you're like a friend that i tried to hard to have.

now then did i realised, you're merely a familiar stranger.

i don't even know you anymore.

to think, i looked forward your papers to end.

yet, what i gotten from all the waiting?

disappointment, yet again.

if you only how much things you promised me,

if you remember how you broke all those promises.

a friend, indeed a friend.

goodbye, familiar stranger.

With a tag : Stress.

yes, it's studying period.

exams on friday and saturday.

i really hate it, but i don't seem to have a choice either.

i don't get it, why is it so sufferable.

in additional, i'm not feeling well and having some emotional lockdown.

i was having blackout and almost fainted just now went i'm out.

it's no joke, i couldn't see properly for 10 mins.

i'm scare.

problems, please leave me for good.

why do you all seem to be so stuck with me?

don't you know i'm really avoiding you all?

shooo shooo get away from me.

this is when i can tell i miss you.

IRRITABLE!

seriously, what's wrong with me?

fuck and die.