Understand.

My photo
you don't have to know me, you probably can't judge me either. i'm neither simple nor complicated. just a normal living that you, unfortunately, come across with.
tell me please, who am i to you?
who am i to me is no longer important.
but who am i to you is a meaning.
i long for the chats we used to have.

if that's a mistake, i shouldn't have made.
i should have know myself well.
tell me what else can i do to make up for it?
i'm sorry.

seem like we are crashing in all ways.
what you want, isn't what i expect.
what i want, is not what you want.
we have different think, different mind.
maybe this was the reason that we have been searching for ages.
the difference in us that didn't made us together.

you might not have realise this.
but it's surfacing to reality.
maybe, after tomorrow, we will know what we want.
we ain't make for each other in all sense.
it's sad to say, but guess we're just friends in all.
there's no further explanation needed.

today i've finally realised.
i'm not a happy girl no matter how hard i tried.
maybe just for a moment, but not for long.
i don't know what wrong with me,

today i've the huge urge to dash through the busy road.
seem like a perfect way of ending this torture.
the picture of ending it seem wonderful.
my life, it's just another dreadful mistake.

my mum, should have abort me in the first place.
so there wouldn't be so much suffering in me.
no, i don't blame her for the decision she made.
but, it's just one silly mistake she have made.
if time were to return to that point, what the decision will be?

in this past 18 years, i believe there's lots of regrets.
one who is truely happy, should have no regrets.
but why am i full of it?
i seem to be so different from others.
pictures with me in it, are not perfect.
i'm sorry for making it so.
i've got no control.

i somehow pray that, tomorrow the scan will be a negative one.
it will create my very first step towards death.
i pray hard for it.

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