limit hit, bam it goes.

I realized something about me.

yes, i really hate this.

i show my temper easily.

sorry those who suffered under my temper explosion.

really do hope that, injuries suffered is not deadly.

i'm really sorry, i hate myself for it.

it's part of me, i did try to change and chase it away.

but it just stay and remain.

i even feel like getting a tattoo for it just to remind myself.

guess one day, everybody will just leave me.

reason is simply my temper.

i really don't want it to happen.

yet i can't remove it from my blood.

i'm paranoid.

this is really bad.

i'm feeling thankful today.
thanks for the support people.
you all are simply great.

sorry to those who wanna come and support me.
but yet i'v already close and left.
it's moral support that i need.
i'm touched.

but to those, who just wanna give money and thinking i need THOSE MONEY,
please wake up with your senses.
i'm not a begger.
you've disappoint me with this thinking.
i can afford to make loses.

Basic Theory Test is tomorrow.
it's like finally after so long.
pray that i pass it well.

i got a little emo just now.
reflecting about last year.
comparing it to this year.
it's really different now.
people change, things are lost.

i ponder why it have to be.
i wonder what is going on.
an answer is need and yet to be answered.
what's really going on in here?

when time is gone, one regret.
unable to hold on tight and make use well.
making a wrong move, causing all to be lost.
apologise is never enough.
but what more could be done?

the misses are not touch.
the tears are not be seen.
the cries are not heard.
one is left alone, no one bothers.

what's the heaven up to?
causing all these pains and regrets.
what's the mighty lord playing with?
causing all the losses and tears.
nobody is certain.



KAREN TAN SIEW LEE

fear not, i'll be there to hold you tight.
you're a great friend that i will never wanna lose.
thanks for being there even if i kept it all to myself.
having you just right by me, is more than i can ask for.
no words might be exchanged, but presence are enough.

i'm sorry that i might be in a lost to help you at times.
but believe me, i'll never want to do that on purpose.
i'm just thinking of the best way to reduce the pain.
i'll catch your fall, be there anytime just for you.

you're a great friend, a great girl.
it's other people lost to lose you.
you're the best girl.
loves, baby.

tell me please, who am i to you?
who am i to me is no longer important.
but who am i to you is a meaning.
i long for the chats we used to have.

if that's a mistake, i shouldn't have made.
i should have know myself well.
tell me what else can i do to make up for it?
i'm sorry.

seem like we are crashing in all ways.
what you want, isn't what i expect.
what i want, is not what you want.
we have different think, different mind.
maybe this was the reason that we have been searching for ages.
the difference in us that didn't made us together.

you might not have realise this.
but it's surfacing to reality.
maybe, after tomorrow, we will know what we want.
we ain't make for each other in all sense.
it's sad to say, but guess we're just friends in all.
there's no further explanation needed.

today i've finally realised.
i'm not a happy girl no matter how hard i tried.
maybe just for a moment, but not for long.
i don't know what wrong with me,

today i've the huge urge to dash through the busy road.
seem like a perfect way of ending this torture.
the picture of ending it seem wonderful.
my life, it's just another dreadful mistake.

my mum, should have abort me in the first place.
so there wouldn't be so much suffering in me.
no, i don't blame her for the decision she made.
but, it's just one silly mistake she have made.
if time were to return to that point, what the decision will be?

in this past 18 years, i believe there's lots of regrets.
one who is truely happy, should have no regrets.
but why am i full of it?
i seem to be so different from others.
pictures with me in it, are not perfect.
i'm sorry for making it so.
i've got no control.

i somehow pray that, tomorrow the scan will be a negative one.
it will create my very first step towards death.
i pray hard for it.