just then, feeling ever so lousy.

dearest o9o6o9,

today i feel really lousy.

i'm upset and it makes me feel really terrible of myself.

yes, maybe i'm not a good friend.

i'm really trying so hard and yet, i failed so terribly.

i'm not a good friend, i never know how.

people treat me just like a pillar.

ignoring the presence when not needed.

but yet lean on it when feeling tired.

i don't mind this fact, cause i know i'm in some help.

but it does hurt me sometimes when ignoring get overloaded.

it makes me feel that, my presences is just so insignificant.

my opinion, my views, everything about me, is just override.

i'm not important, it's okay.

i don't matter, it's okay.

i don't have a stand, never mind.

give me a breather, some respect.

maybe that's all i need.

when you all just decide, and making it final without even asking me.

that's what made me upset.

i made my views, all so not important.

other people views, hell yes and agreement.

how do you feel if you're in my shoes?

great? happy? joyful?

i doubt so.

sometimes i feel like a fool for being a friend.

in friends, you don't need consideration.

you don't have to consider whether to continue the friendship or what.

it seems so sick and make me feel really retarded.

once a friend, is always a friend, this is my statement.

even if now you hate me, dislike me, drifted away,

but one day if you need help, i'm oh-so-willing to help you out.

this is me.

i'm going really easy on everything.

i don't wanna voice some stuff out,

cause i don't want everything to turn so ugly or anything.

i just want it to drift away.

leave me out, i keep my silence.

making joke out of me, i'll laugh with you.

shout at me, i'm all ears to it.

ignoring me, i'll just forget it.

i'm easily affected,

that's all.

Signing off,

Jacqualine

reflecting is what it seem to hurt.



seriously, i think i'm too tired i to continue.
you always make promises but yet you don't do those promises.
what's the use?

since when have you done a single thing, just for me?
you said: "let's meet up on XXX"
i said : "see mood then"

but i called you the day before on XXX, you missed it and don't bother to return call or even send a message.
seriously, i'm tired of trying so hard when you don't even bother.
you irritating me till this point that it seriously boils me.

do you realise something, you have not fulfill much of those promise?
do you realise that we were so drifting away?
guess you didn't even realise.

come'on, you need a live.
you're no longer young that everybody have to do things for you, give in to you.
it just wear people off so much.

i don't have so much time to accommodate.
i guess, i won't give in and be soft hearted anymore.
a little too much for me to take.

too tired...

it's a really lazy sunday today.
but i did something that i quite wanna do for the past few days.
that is, jogging.
although the distance is not far, but i'm satisfied.
:)

thinking through what have happened recently, have some serious reflection on it.
i'm gonna work extra hard this couple of weeks.
to mend part of what i miss.
be it health, studies or anything.

i'll put some un-important aside for now.
cause, there's something that i really have to do.
maybe nothing for others, but certainly something to me.
aftermath, i wanna put a big smile on my face .

no more time is gonna be wasted, i hope.

Basic Theory Test is tomorrow.
it's like finally after so long.
pray that i pass it well.

i got a little emo just now.
reflecting about last year.
comparing it to this year.
it's really different now.
people change, things are lost.

i ponder why it have to be.
i wonder what is going on.
an answer is need and yet to be answered.
what's really going on in here?

when time is gone, one regret.
unable to hold on tight and make use well.
making a wrong move, causing all to be lost.
apologise is never enough.
but what more could be done?

the misses are not touch.
the tears are not be seen.
the cries are not heard.
one is left alone, no one bothers.

what's the heaven up to?
causing all these pains and regrets.
what's the mighty lord playing with?
causing all the losses and tears.
nobody is certain.



KAREN TAN SIEW LEE

fear not, i'll be there to hold you tight.
you're a great friend that i will never wanna lose.
thanks for being there even if i kept it all to myself.
having you just right by me, is more than i can ask for.
no words might be exchanged, but presence are enough.

i'm sorry that i might be in a lost to help you at times.
but believe me, i'll never want to do that on purpose.
i'm just thinking of the best way to reduce the pain.
i'll catch your fall, be there anytime just for you.

you're a great friend, a great girl.
it's other people lost to lose you.
you're the best girl.
loves, baby.