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dearest o9o6o9,
today i feel really lousy.
i'm upset and it makes me feel really terrible of myself.
yes, maybe i'm not a good friend.
i'm really trying so hard and yet, i failed so terribly.
i'm not a good friend, i never know how.
people treat me just like a pillar.
ignoring the presence when not needed.
but yet lean on it when feeling tired.
i don't mind this fact, cause i know i'm in some help.
but it does hurt me sometimes when ignoring get overloaded.
it makes me feel that, my presences is just so insignificant.
my opinion, my views, everything about me, is just override.
i'm not important, it's okay.
i don't matter, it's okay.
i don't have a stand, never mind.
give me a breather, some respect.
maybe that's all i need.
when you all just decide, and making it final without even asking me.
that's what made me upset.
i made my views, all so not important.
other people views, hell yes and agreement.
how do you feel if you're in my shoes?
great? happy? joyful?
i doubt so.
sometimes i feel like a fool for being a friend.
in friends, you don't need consideration.
you don't have to consider whether to continue the friendship or what.
it seems so sick and make me feel really retarded.
once a friend, is always a friend, this is my statement.
even if now you hate me, dislike me, drifted away,
but one day if you need help, i'm oh-so-willing to help you out.
this is me.
i'm going really easy on everything.
i don't wanna voice some stuff out,
cause i don't want everything to turn so ugly or anything.
i just want it to drift away.
leave me out, i keep my silence.
making joke out of me, i'll laugh with you.
shout at me, i'm all ears to it.
ignoring me, i'll just forget it.
i'm easily affected,
that's all.
Signing off,
Jacqualine
