IRRITABLE!

seriously, what's wrong with me?

fuck and die.

When things go wrong.

today is extremely bad.

first, i was almost late for school.

and when i reached school, i'm so exhausted that i dozed off.

this is bad. it's only the second week of school

secondly, i was being really bad that i left my friends to accompany my another friend.

hell yes, i feel damn guilty.

sorry karmen, serene and jayius.

my bad, my fault, i'm sucha bitch.

thirdly, i almost died, seriously.

i almost had an asthma attack out of the blue.

breathless, head numbness and fainting spell.

well, i've to thanks that smoke machine, it's the main cause.

and my friend almost called the ambulance.

forth, fuck and die.

i've lost my phone while getting too high on the dance floor.

jumping and craziness, cause my phone to kiss the floor and said byebye to me.

love it to the extreme, guess it's fated.

fifth, i almost got into a fight on the dance floor.

i was tolerant enough to endure all the painful elbowing and kicking.

and fuck it, enough is enough, so i dance my way with bigger actions.

yet, they still have the cheek to ask me, "enough already anot?!"

fuck you slut, big time.

sixth, i realised i'm super broke now.

and yes, i don't know why am i super broke now.

cause my fucking wallet only left with 10bucks.

hello bed, i'm staying with you till next week.

anyway, i'm super touchy and may burst anytime.

please beware of me today.

not in any good mood.

i'm easily agitated today.

fuck and die peeps.

I starting to lose faith that i've just gain back.

oh fuck, tell me how!

how am i going to get that pile of notes into my blockhead!?

tomorrow is the bloody paper, yet i've got no mood and suffering brain block syndrome.

give me some super motivation.

i need peers motivation.

influence me with positive motivation.

PS : I HAVE REALLY LIMITED FRIEND! TELL ME WHERE TO FIND FRIENDS! POSITIVE KIND! NOT CHI KO PEK OR UNDECENT/UP-TO-NO-GOOD PEOPLE!

losing myself and becoming someone else, so not me.




i'm so emotional these few days.
don't really feel like talking.
it's like there's so much things running through my head.
i have to put it off, PUT IT OFF.

things are haunting me more than like a nightmare.
it makes me feel so wrong, so wrong to be around.
yes, it's making me losing myself.
everyday i wake up, i felt slight difference.
not positive, but towards the negative.

i'm beyond redemption, beyond salvation.
everyday, seem so strange and blur.
i can't remember what i really did.
just let the time pass me by, so easily.

this is so no good.

mood spoiler is more than a killer.


yes, i got back my connection.
super happy about it.

but now i'm feeling damn pissed.
ya, thanks ar.

don't blame me when you don't understand me.
when i put in effort, do you all even sincerely appreciate it?
and just change everything without informing me.
what is this? my fault?

yes, i avoid and avoid you all during my birthday period.
know why?

cause i soooo don't wanna ruin my birthday.
i just wanna enjoy it.
to me, you are are just some people who are a curse to my birthday.

say i don't reply to your messages, but who taught me all these.
in the past you all message me, i'll reply for sure.
but when i message you all, do you all even bother to reply or even read?
so, i'm just doing this to who treat me this way.

for my other friends, i'll reply for sure even if it's just an okay.
unless i really miss the message.

blame it on who send the message then.

yes, when i see the present from you all,
i'm extremely pissed and disappointed.
why?

maybe you all have put in "efforts".
but please, i don't feel it at all.
it is just a box with some stickers and 3 stuff.
that's all.

if you call that "effort", then well done.

and the present, gosh, speechless.
who will give 2 same stuff just different functions?
pardon me from being harsh.
but it's really stupid somehow.

okay maybe is the giver fault again.

but, did you all think practically for the gift?
or think, whether do i already have it.
for your info, being a mascara lover, i already have lots of it.
in a way, till i stop buying and start throwing.

you said you all have NO idea what to buy for me.
then just don't buy.
think i'll appreciate it more than ever.
maybe a greeting will do more that the gift.

or you can just give me money and let me buy what i really want or save up.
isn't it more practical?

oh, and you pester my friend to get information on what to get for me till she's so pissed.
thanks ar, and the present ended up like that.
it make her even more pissed.
how funny is it?
please, just forget it next time alright?
don't make my friend irritated that way.

and, i do appreciate you all turning up in my house.
if i'm really mean, i wouldn't go to gardens with you all and push my plans back a little.
i do have guilt and stuff.
but do you all know how i feel?
out-of-place.

no common topic, no feelings.

if you all pass by,
i'm typing these to let you all understand me a little more.

okay, you will get the wrong idea.
i'm sure of it.
but i won't delete or change the post.
cause, this is how i really feel.

yea, call me petty or whatever.
i'm like that.

i'm not in good mood.
stop pissing me off i'm warning!

woke up fucking early just to get prepare for it.
okay la, i admit that i slack here and there.
reached there early, study again.
and guess what, i can't enter for the test.\

REASON : I DON'T HAVE MY IC OR PASSPORT!
I GIVE MY EZ-LINK THEY SAY CAN'T CAUSE IT'S AN EZ-LINK!

what an excuse, can't they fucking see that it got my UGLY PHOTO, NAME, IC NUMBER AND BIRTHDAY ON IT?!
ARE THEY STUPID OR DUMB OR RETARDED?!
i suppose is everything negative!

called my mom to bring it here for me, and there she got fucking me over the phone!
asked my brother and he also did the same as my mother.
what the fuck, and still ask me, "will you pay for my cab fare?"
@#$%^&*()
is money so important, you fucker dickhead!

and he took like damn long to come.
by the time he came, i only had 20 mins to do that stupid test.
and it boils me till i've got no mood and time!
and all the fucking questions are all different from the book!
am i that fucking unlucky?!

YES, AND THE RESULT IS A FUCKING FAILED WORD!
THANKS AR, FUCK!

i'm so not in mood, where's my happy candy?
where's :)?
fuck la, nobody cares at all!
i'm damn pissed!