not even in the lost and found.

you sent me a message yesterday.

"please be normal tomorrow"

tell me what's normal?

i don't know what's normal and what's not.

i was really confused today.

i don't even feel like talking or anything.

and i was said by someone else for being so cold.

hell, i don't even know who am i becoming or anything.

yet you all are confusing me one by one.

it's becoming really hard to become me.

i don't even know who am i anymore.

i just feel like shut the fuck up and stay somewhere where nobody will ask me to be this and that.

don't ask me to be what or what, i'm not an actress.

it's becoming really retarded for me.

losing myself and becoming someone else, so not me.




i'm so emotional these few days.
don't really feel like talking.
it's like there's so much things running through my head.
i have to put it off, PUT IT OFF.

things are haunting me more than like a nightmare.
it makes me feel so wrong, so wrong to be around.
yes, it's making me losing myself.
everyday i wake up, i felt slight difference.
not positive, but towards the negative.

i'm beyond redemption, beyond salvation.
everyday, seem so strange and blur.
i can't remember what i really did.
just let the time pass me by, so easily.

this is so no good.

it have been really tiring for me.

tears were bound to drop yet hanging it those eyes.
feeling really down, yet i've got nobody to turn to.
scroll down that list, yet i seem to know nobody.

i told myself to be strong, yet i'm such a weakling.
i still thinking about it, i can't accept.
i know it all along, but the fact in words pierce even deeper.
tell me what can i do to change and amend?
it sucks to be me when i'm losing myself ever so slowly.

everything seem to be changing but not me.
give me those drinks and make me drunk.
numb me for a moment, and let it be long.
let me drop and fall, to the endless pit.
let me cry, with those endless flow.
call me up, and tell me that i'll be fine.
it's gonna be a lie, yet, i don't know how can feel better.

slap me awake, i beg and pray.
time is running out, yet nothing much can be done.
what i what, is not what it will be.
all have a choice, yet i give in to any choices that were made.
i've lost myself ever since.
i can't find it back anymore.

i'm tired, tell me what should i do?

i really doubt i will have anyone who are in my shoes now.
i'm not sad, but just lost.

who really understands?
i'm like a shadow of others.
fuck it.