When things go wrong.

today is extremely bad.

first, i was almost late for school.

and when i reached school, i'm so exhausted that i dozed off.

this is bad. it's only the second week of school

secondly, i was being really bad that i left my friends to accompany my another friend.

hell yes, i feel damn guilty.

sorry karmen, serene and jayius.

my bad, my fault, i'm sucha bitch.

thirdly, i almost died, seriously.

i almost had an asthma attack out of the blue.

breathless, head numbness and fainting spell.

well, i've to thanks that smoke machine, it's the main cause.

and my friend almost called the ambulance.

forth, fuck and die.

i've lost my phone while getting too high on the dance floor.

jumping and craziness, cause my phone to kiss the floor and said byebye to me.

love it to the extreme, guess it's fated.

fifth, i almost got into a fight on the dance floor.

i was tolerant enough to endure all the painful elbowing and kicking.

and fuck it, enough is enough, so i dance my way with bigger actions.

yet, they still have the cheek to ask me, "enough already anot?!"

fuck you slut, big time.

sixth, i realised i'm super broke now.

and yes, i don't know why am i super broke now.

cause my fucking wallet only left with 10bucks.

hello bed, i'm staying with you till next week.

anyway, i'm super touchy and may burst anytime.

please beware of me today.

not in any good mood.

i'm easily agitated today.

fuck and die peeps.

you just don't understand why

if i want to, i would have right at the beginning.

what for you fucking want to expose me.

now i can feel bad luck coming, charging towards me.

you may say i'm thinking too much.

cause you don't fucking understand.

i'm seriously pissed.

super duper i'm telling you this.

you all just don't understand.

now i don't even have a dim of confidence anymore.

thanks so much.

i so don't feel like talking to anyone now.

seriously, pissed.

mood spoiler is more than a killer.


yes, i got back my connection.
super happy about it.

but now i'm feeling damn pissed.
ya, thanks ar.

don't blame me when you don't understand me.
when i put in effort, do you all even sincerely appreciate it?
and just change everything without informing me.
what is this? my fault?

yes, i avoid and avoid you all during my birthday period.
know why?

cause i soooo don't wanna ruin my birthday.
i just wanna enjoy it.
to me, you are are just some people who are a curse to my birthday.

say i don't reply to your messages, but who taught me all these.
in the past you all message me, i'll reply for sure.
but when i message you all, do you all even bother to reply or even read?
so, i'm just doing this to who treat me this way.

for my other friends, i'll reply for sure even if it's just an okay.
unless i really miss the message.

blame it on who send the message then.

yes, when i see the present from you all,
i'm extremely pissed and disappointed.
why?

maybe you all have put in "efforts".
but please, i don't feel it at all.
it is just a box with some stickers and 3 stuff.
that's all.

if you call that "effort", then well done.

and the present, gosh, speechless.
who will give 2 same stuff just different functions?
pardon me from being harsh.
but it's really stupid somehow.

okay maybe is the giver fault again.

but, did you all think practically for the gift?
or think, whether do i already have it.
for your info, being a mascara lover, i already have lots of it.
in a way, till i stop buying and start throwing.

you said you all have NO idea what to buy for me.
then just don't buy.
think i'll appreciate it more than ever.
maybe a greeting will do more that the gift.

or you can just give me money and let me buy what i really want or save up.
isn't it more practical?

oh, and you pester my friend to get information on what to get for me till she's so pissed.
thanks ar, and the present ended up like that.
it make her even more pissed.
how funny is it?
please, just forget it next time alright?
don't make my friend irritated that way.

and, i do appreciate you all turning up in my house.
if i'm really mean, i wouldn't go to gardens with you all and push my plans back a little.
i do have guilt and stuff.
but do you all know how i feel?
out-of-place.

no common topic, no feelings.

if you all pass by,
i'm typing these to let you all understand me a little more.

okay, you will get the wrong idea.
i'm sure of it.
but i won't delete or change the post.
cause, this is how i really feel.

yea, call me petty or whatever.
i'm like that.

just you know, irritating.

i curse and curse that my brother will really die soon.
he's such a pussy idiotic gay shit.
can't he just bloody come home and fix the wireless in my house?
he's now hiding in his friend's house and happily using the net.
WHILE PATHETIC ME, CAN'T CHECK MY MAILS WITH MY SHOPPING UPDATES!
CHAAAAAAAOOOOOO CHEEEEEESEEEEE PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

i've got so much to type, but i'm hogging my friend's laptop.
pathetic shit.
:(


since that moment, everything change.
it left a scar after the healing process.
not even a word of sorry.
enough, just be it.
accusation.

still the same, or maybe even worst.

alright, i officially declare myself as seriously ugly.
everyday i look in the mirror, i seem to be getting uglier.
my face rounder and rounder, and somehow, simply ugliness.
i feel like smashing that ugliness in the mirror.
it's like irritating and pissing me.

tell me what to do with this kind of ugliness?

disappoinment is what i'm borned with.


i'm utterly disappointed.
i shouldn't have even go, never will i want again.
enough.

nobody understand how i feel at all.
or even bother about me.
never did they try to be in my shoes.
they don't know how hard i've tried till i'm so worn out.

don't ask me to do anything when in the end, you all don't even take it seriously.
it's hard work, lots of thinking and consideration.
but it's all down the drain.
pissed.

i'll never make an effort to do anything more.
too tired, too worn out, too hurt.

fuck, i'm really pissed and disappointed.

Empty words, yet greatest meaning.



In beginning, all seem so steady and everything like wa wa hooo.
but now, everything crumble.
E-mails, SMS saying that "i've got something on, so sorry. will meet after it."
you don't know how much turn of it is.
i'm seriously disappointed and do not wish to go anymore.

so what if i'm the organizer, planner or whatever you say?
nobody gives me the respect.
change the plan and stuff.
yea, whatever, where's respect?

don't tell me you appreciate it, it doesn't seem real.
is it just for show then?
i'm quite sure.

i'm really disappointed.
you don't know how much i look forward toward this.
but now, i really don't feel like giving a damn about it.
who does?

yea, if they ever read this post, they will just blame it on me and stuff.
whatever, i'm used to it.
no importance, that's it.
but i this is how i seriously feel.

you don't know how it feels like when things seem to go so well in the beginning and became FUCK when it's drawing so near.
give up trying.

today i woke up craving so much for some surprise,
and this is what i get.
what a pleasant surprise.
THANKS!

dammit.

it left a shadow in me that i couldn't possibly remove.


i'm sick again, bad cramps and aches.
fever, flu, sore throat, cough and eye irritation.
they are all back again, YES AGAIN!
i'm irritated and it's like wtf.
i can't take it, i just wish that i'll be dead soon.

anyway, went to bugis street for my long waited shopping trip.
madness, not alot of stuff bought, but is the amount and time used.
within a short 1 hour, i bought 2 dresses, 4 tops and 1 short.

okay la, i know there's people can buy more than me.
but, it's like, i haven't been shopping for a long long while.
it's really satisfying and i felt better.

total damage is only about 120.
call it cheap, isn't it?
moreover, it's not me the one paying.
double duper yea-ness!

but one disappointment is that,
bugis junction did not have anything that i fancy.
but oh well, i'm still satisfied.
guess i need one more pair of sandels-kind-of-shoe and a bag to complete the list.

anyway, the starhub out amk hub is really ridiculous.
i wanted to buy c905 from Starhub but they do not have stock.
so when i tried my luck by asking this shop stuff.

he asked whether i want contract or not?
when i tell him yes, he said he don't have any c905.
then i asked, then if i don't want contract will have?
then he said yes.

wtf wtf wtf, does it make any difference?
are you trying to earn commission or what?
the god damn phone is still starhub phone right?!

i'm super pissed upon hearing that and i just wtf and left the shop.
i was cursing and swearing that guy, seriously.
just see how pissed i am.

well, guess my that 100 bucks voucher can't be used.
it's damn wasted, i'm pissed.

i'm not in good mood.
stop pissing me off i'm warning!

woke up fucking early just to get prepare for it.
okay la, i admit that i slack here and there.
reached there early, study again.
and guess what, i can't enter for the test.\

REASON : I DON'T HAVE MY IC OR PASSPORT!
I GIVE MY EZ-LINK THEY SAY CAN'T CAUSE IT'S AN EZ-LINK!

what an excuse, can't they fucking see that it got my UGLY PHOTO, NAME, IC NUMBER AND BIRTHDAY ON IT?!
ARE THEY STUPID OR DUMB OR RETARDED?!
i suppose is everything negative!

called my mom to bring it here for me, and there she got fucking me over the phone!
asked my brother and he also did the same as my mother.
what the fuck, and still ask me, "will you pay for my cab fare?"
@#$%^&*()
is money so important, you fucker dickhead!

and he took like damn long to come.
by the time he came, i only had 20 mins to do that stupid test.
and it boils me till i've got no mood and time!
and all the fucking questions are all different from the book!
am i that fucking unlucky?!

YES, AND THE RESULT IS A FUCKING FAILED WORD!
THANKS AR, FUCK!

i'm so not in mood, where's my happy candy?
where's :)?
fuck la, nobody cares at all!
i'm damn pissed!