it's different, not like normal.

do you know how tiring is it?

having to keep thinking of somebody, something, but not even be able to hold on to it.

i'm so experiencing this right now.

there's so much thing i would really like to get,

people that i really miss and so want to meet them up,

so many things i want to do,

but, there's so many restrictions.

money is the most important factor.

time is the second.

my misses are all in school, preparing for exams, projects and etc.

and hell yes, don't have much time for me.

even 5 mins, i'll be happy.

Gracie, Pei Jun, Jasmine, Shuxian, Hwee Khim, Ying Lin and others.

i so so so wanna meet them.

but i know, it won't be easy.

they have just started school, yet i'm only starting next week.

please please tell me when you all are free!

there's so much i want to buy too.

just give me a thousand, it will be enough.

i won't ask for more.

i need a job to fulfill my cravings, but yet i'm not allowed to work.

bag, shoes, top, bottom, dress, cosmetic, skincare.

all these stuff freaking need money.

even if i go out, i need money too.

hell it.

yes, more clubbing please.

before all will be too tired.

i need more happy and great time!

party party, drink drink, pictures pictures, fun fun.

i wanna travel overseas.

even to malaysia, i'll be happy.

feeling trap in Singapore.

it's so boring.

anybody?

i'm feeling so tired just thinking of all these stuff.

driving nuts.

:(

limit hit, bam it goes.

I realized something about me.

yes, i really hate this.

i show my temper easily.

sorry those who suffered under my temper explosion.

really do hope that, injuries suffered is not deadly.

i'm really sorry, i hate myself for it.

it's part of me, i did try to change and chase it away.

but it just stay and remain.

i even feel like getting a tattoo for it just to remind myself.

guess one day, everybody will just leave me.

reason is simply my temper.

i really don't want it to happen.

yet i can't remove it from my blood.

i'm paranoid.

this is really bad.

11.12, the crying morning

11 December 2008, even before it was, this night or early morning, is a crying night for me.
i'm scare.

a weird message:

"know being a gal like you online is quite tiring because guys will juz flood ur mailbox non-stop..BUT.. i reali do hope tat u can open a new chapter in my life so tat when history comes, i will have a bookmark in my book of life indicating this special day of knowing u..so,will you be starting this beautiful story??after so many years then we manage to know each other's existance. life is like a puzzle n u may be tat missing piece who can make my life complete..let me know u more if u r willing..or perhaps,we may become gd frenz who knows right?i'll be waiting..Ace here..msn-e.c.l.i.p. s.e_81@hotmail.com 8*******"

sorry, but i'm a girl who seem to be healing her heart.

i don't wanna be that missing piece in your life.

get lost.