when one is pathetic, nothing seem beautiful.

yes, call me pathetic.

nobody really bother about me.

in another word, my existence don't really matter.

whatever is it, yes you hurt me.

i thought you and i were really close.

but actual fact, it seem to be just a pathetic act.

i would wait for you till your a levels end.

i understand how stress you will be.

i didn't really wanna bother you as well.

but now, you show me that, i'm no importance.

if you change your number, you could just tell me.

if you don't have my number, you can check it out from others or just ask me online.

and hell yes, you didn't even inform me.

you can chat with everbody, go out with everybody, cept for me.

you don't know how it feels.

i tried really hard to at least date you out for a dinner date.

just a 5 mins will be great.

but you just gave me tons of rejections or ignores.

i'm really disappointed in you.

you don't know how much our friendship means to me.

i don't know what it means to you, but enough.

you did everything that were so wrong.

gracie, i'm disappointed with you, thoroughly.

enough of it already.

we're strangers.

i dreamt of negative, yet you're the negative.

tell me what to do, i'm not perfect.
i don't meet people from the net.
not that i'm anti-social or anything.
it's just that the aftermath do scare me.

i've been through those avoid and drift after meeting up.
so what we were close before we meet up.
but somehow, everything do change after that.
yes, you may say that i'm over-sensitive.
but, it's the fact and i've been through it.

i don't have a figure, i'm fat.
i'm not attractive, i'm ugly.
i'm different in reality, how much can i show in typing?
everybody knows this, it's the fact for who i am.

i don't understand why that a plan to meet up can just be so stressful to me.
i can't take the stress level, it sadden me.
i don't want any history to repeat.
it's the worst feeling ever, you don't know.

yes, all friends start from strangers.
but net friends are different.
in the sense that, we knew each other.
virtual yet not reality.
it's totally different matters.

i do treasure all my net friends.
as much as i wish we could remain this way, somehow, there will be request to meet up.
i'm lost and it seems like, a stressful and unpleasent stuff.

i just wish to shut off myself.

this is when i realise,
there isn't anyone for me.

scroll down my phone list,
somehow, all of them seem to be strangers to me.
tears filled my eyes, yet i couldn't let it drop.

i thought it wouldn't affect me that hard.
i didn't want to know the fact, yet i know the fact long ago.
i want to run away from it, yet everything happen just so yesterday.
or is it this early morning?
it crash on me hard.

time is really running out.