The end,

you misled me,

you lied to me,

you captured me,

you dumped me.

not that we are ever together,

and i jolly well know that you have a girlfriend.

but still, why do you wanna do all these to me?

i already tried so hard to ignore all your messages, yet you made soft hearted everytime.

i admit, everything was a mistake since that very time.

i pulled myself away, yet you kept pulling me back.

i felt so alone, you never knew.

and, you just ended it with a text message.

no, i don't feel as hurt as i thought i would.

but this feeling isn't that great as well.

you made me feel like an ultimate slut,

it's all just for your own gains.

you never bothers, you never really care.

i couldn't even have you for the last time.

you lied to me, every single time.

i took everything, foolishly.

goodbye, lover.

Piercing Pain.

i don't know if that's the option i should made.

i shouldn't make myself miserable anymore,

i should put an end to it, but yet, i'm bleeding.

it seem like it's getting worst than before.

guess it's only the beginning.

time will heal all wounds, hopefully.

but, there's bound to be scars.

scar remover doesn't exist in this case.

she's someone that i'll go great length for.

too late, i gave up.

guess she will be better off without me.

i know she will.

take care.

Born to be a Fool.

perhaps, my biggest regret is that i'm surviving for so long.

i should have been dead long ago, i should have.

guess, i'll be happier that way.

i waited, and waited.

yet, you ignored my presence, you ignored my emotions.

you simply ignored everything.

my stand is no longer the same.

i treated you my best, you treated me as fool, a stranger.

ask yourself, how i treated you and how you have treated me all these while.

you have your ongoing stuff, i don't blame.

but i too have my ongoing stuff, and will still take the effort to reply.

yet, you simply ignore.

don't tell me another word of yours.

your words, i can no longer believe in.

you're not there when i needed.

when you're in need, i offered to be there, yet you always reject.

you tell me what should i do, what can i do?

i lied to you i admit, you always upset me when you turned me down.

you upset me, made me pissed.

but what else can i do or say?

lies, this is to lessen the guilt that you may have.

i never will want you to feel bad about anything.

cause, you're a great friend to me, somehow.

yet, you repeat these acts so easily.

leaving me there hanging.

words, they are just plain lies.

sincerity should be showed through actions, not words.

words are cheap, actions are priceless.

but what action did i get?

don't treat me as a fool, i beg.

not this way, i won't be able to take it any longer.

i'm on the verge on giving up.

giving up on everything.

i hate myself, to be so forgiving, to be soft hearted.

never will i want to be treated in this manner, but why?

sometimes, i really do wish to be treated better.

someone to treat me really as a friend, selfless towards me.

there isn't any at all.

'fuck and die' maybe the just the perfect phrase for everything happening recently.

Ugly Confession.

yes, i've got a confession to made.

i guess i shouldn't hide or keep it anymore.

it's already semi expose, i'll just admit it once and for all.

firstly, there's no more first for me.

at the age of 17, nearing 18, it was gone for good.

no, i don't regret it.

secondly, i like a guy in the past.

i trusted him so much, giving him everything he wanted no matter what.

yes, it's included.

i know there will be no ending, i'm just hoping like some silly bitch.

1 year 5 months.

thirdly, a friend i barely know.

forced himself of me, even though i beg him to stop.

i didn't report to the police, i don't want things to turn ugly or anything.

hoping it will fade away, i treated him, still, as a friend.

forth, someone for money sake.

he's really nice, and willing to help when i was so in need of cash.

thanks for it, he's still a friend to me.

it only happened once.

i said all these out, not because i'm trying to gain anything out of it.

but it's to make me feel better and i think i should confess it myself and not through someone else's mouth.

yes, recently, the guy who i used to like so much, someone who i trusted so much, hurt me like mad tard.

he almost killed me in that way.

yes, i hate him for doing so.

but guess it slapped me hard on my face.

i should wake up from all these.

and stop it, what good it does?

almost nothing.

i was once silly, and i shouldn't let it continue.

nightmares cause of all these are not worth.

i have to put a stop.