Born to be a Fool.

perhaps, my biggest regret is that i'm surviving for so long.

i should have been dead long ago, i should have.

guess, i'll be happier that way.

i waited, and waited.

yet, you ignored my presence, you ignored my emotions.

you simply ignored everything.

my stand is no longer the same.

i treated you my best, you treated me as fool, a stranger.

ask yourself, how i treated you and how you have treated me all these while.

you have your ongoing stuff, i don't blame.

but i too have my ongoing stuff, and will still take the effort to reply.

yet, you simply ignore.

don't tell me another word of yours.

your words, i can no longer believe in.

you're not there when i needed.

when you're in need, i offered to be there, yet you always reject.

you tell me what should i do, what can i do?

i lied to you i admit, you always upset me when you turned me down.

you upset me, made me pissed.

but what else can i do or say?

lies, this is to lessen the guilt that you may have.

i never will want you to feel bad about anything.

cause, you're a great friend to me, somehow.

yet, you repeat these acts so easily.

leaving me there hanging.

words, they are just plain lies.

sincerity should be showed through actions, not words.

words are cheap, actions are priceless.

but what action did i get?

don't treat me as a fool, i beg.

not this way, i won't be able to take it any longer.

i'm on the verge on giving up.

giving up on everything.

i hate myself, to be so forgiving, to be soft hearted.

never will i want to be treated in this manner, but why?

sometimes, i really do wish to be treated better.

someone to treat me really as a friend, selfless towards me.

there isn't any at all.

'fuck and die' maybe the just the perfect phrase for everything happening recently.

Pathetic.

Friend :

i'm not a good friend that someone will wanna have.

i'm not a good friend that everybody love.

i'm not a good friend that is good enough to be a friend of theirs.

i'm not a good friend that could be just like a superman.

in fact i'm a just a pathetic soul that nobody will wanna have as a friend.

Boyfriend :

i'm not a good girlfriend that could be there for boyfriend 24/7.

i'm not a good girlfriend that will rather accompany my boyfriend to my girlfriends.

i'm not a good girlfriend that will treasure and cherish a boyfriend.

i'm not a good girlfriend that anybody will love to have or even love.

in fact, i'm just a pathetic soul that no boyfriend will wanna have as a girlfriend.

Family :

i'm not a good sister or daughter that you will wanna have around in the house.

i'm not a good sister or daughter that will listen to every single word you say.

i'm not a good sister or daughter that will help out and do house work.

i'm not a good sister or daughter that will keep her stuff neat and tidy.

in fact, i'm just a pathetic soul that no family would want to have given birth to.

all in all, i'm just a pathetic soul around.

fuck and die