Understand.

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you don't have to know me, you probably can't judge me either. i'm neither simple nor complicated. just a normal living that you, unfortunately, come across with.
Never in Family.





as i have expected, silence is just a pause.
everything turned heated up once again.
and this time, no tolerance is available.
in the middle of the night.

sometimes, i really hate my dad.
i know i shouldn't be, but i can't help it.
he does not even work to support the family,
all he do is smoke and sleep.

when he's not happy with who-knows-what,
he will just roar into anger with vulgarities.
and give those killer look till every heat in him is gone.
he got a serious emotional un-stability.

my mother, no i don't hate her.
sometimes i'm just too pissed off to do anything.
but if things happen, i'll sure jump to her to keep her safe.
she need more protection than i do.

yes, she's a drama-mama at times.
trying to gain as much attention as she wants.
and it's really irritating and annoying.
but i still love her.

sometimes i really wish my mother would have follow the decision and abort me.
least, this will ease the financial burden by some extent and less suffering.
i don't feel happy in this family at all.
it's like a wrong choice.

i seriously think that,
my family will do real good without the presence of my dad.
he should return to the cell, and never release.
he should be kept behind those bars.

and yet,
i'm helpless, i can't do anything.
fuck and die.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your honesty.

bloodylife.JACQUALINE said...

thanks. :)

Kaiti said...

agreed. I wish I was brave enough to be that honest. I hope things get better for you. They will! Keep your chin up =]

ThatDamnCat said...

Keep your hopes up. There is always something you can do, thanks to free will and all that stuff. Really, there is always a way out, you just have to find that well-hidden path and run for it.

bloodylife.JACQUALINE said...

Kaiti : well, if you have have to lie and make yourself suffer, why do that? it's your life, you don't have to be an actor or actress. :)

CraftyKatt : thanks. i'll just keep looking for the best bath. :)

カルメン said...

am always here.. i miss u.. i feel like i'm a very bad friend / baby . :(

bloodylife.JACQUALINE said...

Karmen : silly, you're not. you're what i wanted. you're a great friend. :)

Yeviel said...

great post! i admire ur honesty.

bloodylife.JACQUALINE said...

Yeviel : thanks. :)