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somehow, if you know, i feel alone.
who's real and fake?
i don't know.

i know, i have not much left.
nobody who is there to go crazy buffet with me,
nobody to go photography shoot with me,
nobody to go out in the night with me till dawn,
nobody to crap with me when i just needed it most,
nobody that are really them.

yes, i know there's one who can fulfill some of my wants.
but, maybe i'm greed.

i see other people's blog,
are photos with a group of crazy pals having lots of fun doing silly stuff.
i envy, i'm jealous.
but what can i do?

my friend circle just don't do that.
what can i ask for?
this is when, i realised i'm losing myself just because of my surrounding.

i'm not happy.