tell me, what can i do?
what can i do to improve the situation?
what can i do to cover those tears?
what can be done to lessen those pain?
how can i stop thinking about the past?

i'm feeling a total lost.
i'm useless that i can't do anything much.

i can't help her lessen those pain.
i can't make her feel better.
i can't move away from the past.
i can only see my family breaking apart.
i can only see all my friends turn their back on me.
i can only let those tears roll off my cheeks.

who can i talk to?
who can i pray to?
who can i lean on?
who can i fall on?
who can help me?

sigh.

"I'm ugly"
this is what i always say to myself.
you may say i'm not, but i can't deny the fact.

i'm ugly no matter what view, inside or outside.
not only my looks, but my character, personality isn't great too.
i being to wonder aimlessly.
i can't seem to understand myself anymore.

who am i, i wonder.
the image of myself is really getting blur.
the real of me, is no longer around.
an act is put on, just to please people.

crying myself to sleep is getting more often.
it's not a want, but an action that i couldn't control.

i don't wanna be here.

about 6 hours of workout.
total shiokness and cuiness.
overall it's good, i like.

i need more workout!
muscle are needed!
FATS shooooo!
:D

i'm terrible for the past few days.
i'm sorry for those people who i've fuck.
seriously, sorry.

i intend to hit the fitness.
lose some weights and tone up my body.

FATS my enemy!
back to my diet.
yucks.

what is said and told, might not be heard by anyone.
what's the point of me telling when everything is just referred?
maybe, self-feelings are more important than others.
but i think otherwise.
i must be foolish.

and when i finally stand up for myself, everybody will just put blames.
what is this may i know?
i'm really sick and tired of all these.
i don't know what to be or what to do.
i'm really tired, this is what i meant.
you don't get it.

i'm have low self-confidence, i don't deny.
we're different in that sense.
how you want me to put it.
i'm ugly, i'm big size, fat and sucks.
don't deny it for me cause it's the fact.
don't make me feel better, cause i'm feeling worst.

you have almost everything you want.
but i'm losing every single thing.
i don't know why, perhaps, i'm just a loser.
which i gradually accepting.

there's really nothing much for me to say and explain.
i'm really tired of everything.
i keep thinking of what happened.
it really making me ending my life real soon.
i don't like it, who really do?
what's my purpose of living now?
i'm losing it.

i'm not part of it or anything anymore.
i'm just by myself real soon.
living it dead soon.